Tegen Butler: It Was Always Football
Before your senior debut against Hong Kong, did you feel more excitement or fear and was there a moment where the weight of the shirt really hit you emotionally?
Before making my senior debut, I felt a lot more excitement than fear, but there was definitely a strong sense of responsibility that came with it. I was extremely grateful for the opportunity and focused on honoring the trust the coaches and staff had placed in me by giving everything I had on the pitch. There was a moment before the match, seeing the jersey and knowing what it represented, where it really hit me emotionally. It reminded me of the journey it took to get there and everyone who supported me along the way. Every time I see that jersey, I feel a deep sense of pride, not just in the debut itself, but in how far I’ve come and how much more there still is to work toward.
After your debut against Hong Kong, what was the very first thought that stayed with you once the noise died down and you were alone?
After my debut, I felt a bit disappointed, especially after the result, because as a team, I know we were capable of competing better. After every match, I look closely at my own performance and what I can do to improve, because I always want to grow and become more consistent at this level. At the same time, I felt proud to have made my debut and to be trusted with that responsibility, knowing how many players work extremely hard for that opportunity. Moments like that, even with difficult results, motivate me even more to learn, improve, and come back stronger for the team going forward.
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When you think back to younger Tegen, what would she be most proud of about the woman and footballer you’ve become today?
When I think back to my younger self, I think she would be in awe of even the idea of representing the country. Growing up, I used to wear the new Malaysian football kits every year and tell my family, “Wouldn’t it be cool if this jersey were real one day?” It was always said half as a joke, thinking it wouldn’t come true. Yet, to be standing here at the end of 2025, holding all these memories and experiences, I’m proud of how far I’ve come. I’ve been playing competitive football for twelve years, and to reach a point where I’ve had the opportunity to represent Malaysia still feels surreal. If I could tell younger Tegen that this would one day become possible, I don’t think she would fully believe it, but I know she would be proud of the journey it took to get here.
Representing Malaysia isn’t just about football — it’s about identity. Has wearing the national shirt changed how you see yourself off the pitch?
Representing Malaysia has always meant more to me than just football. I grew up in a small town in the United States, but I spent several months in Malaysia every year, and that connection has always been a constant in my life. I’ve never been quiet about my roots, the family I come from, the food I grew up eating, and the traditions that I continue to carry with me wherever I am. Wearing the national shirt has deepened my sense of responsibility, not only to represent the country well on the pitch, but to carry myself with pride and humility off it. I want to make my family proud, but just as importantly, I want to make myself proud by being the best version of myself I can be. In that way, representing Malaysia feels like a reflection of who I am, both as a footballer and as a person.
Was there ever a moment in your journey where you almost stepped away from the game and if so, what pulled you back?
Yes, there was a period in my journey where I seriously considered stepping away from the game. I had gone through a year filled with injuries and difficult experiences with a coach, and by the end of that season, I had lost a lot of my passion, confidence, and enjoyment for football. It reached a point where I wasn’t sure if continuing was the right decision for me. After that season ended, I decided to give myself one more year and one more chance. I joined a new club with a fresh mindset and made a commitment to give my best in every training session, every match, and every day. I didn’t want all the years of dedication, time, and sacrifice to end without knowing I had truly given everything I could. The adjustment wasn’t easy at first, but week by week, I began to find my rhythm and earn my place within the team. What started as two training sessions a week quickly became three, simply because I had rediscovered my love for the game. Training meant long drives of nearly two hours each way and late nights, while balancing school and competing at a high level. It wasn’t easy, but the support of my family played a huge role in helping me through that period, and it ultimately reminded me why I fell in love with football in the first place.
When the anthem plays, what do you personally think about — family, sacrifice, the journey, or something only you know?
When the anthem plays, it’s never just one single thought for me, it changes every time. Sometimes I’m thinking about the pride I feel to be standing there with my teammates and sharing that moment together. Other times, I reflect on the journey it took to get me here and how far I’ve come to be in this position. There are also moments where I’m simply overwhelmed with gratitude, knowing how many people work their entire lives for an opportunity like this and never get the chance.
A big part of that moment for me is also faith. I think about how God has guided me through injuries, setbacks, and successes, and how I’ve been given the physical ability to play this sport. That awareness makes me feel incredibly fortunate because I know not everyone is given the same opportunities or abilities.
I also think a lot about my family, especially my grandparents. My trips back to Malaysia every year were mainly because of them, and some of my strongest memories are from spending summers training and playing here, with my grand aunt sitting in the stands and watching my matches. Even though they never got to see me make my debut, their love and the memories I carry with me are a big reason why representing Malaysia means so much to me.
Because of that, when I hear the anthem, I think about responsibility. I want to make my family proud, my friends proud, and represent Malaysia with respect. Even on difficult days, that perspective pushes me to keep working hard, not just for myself, but in appreciation of those who would give anything to be able to do what I do.
You’re part of a generation redefining Malaysian women’s football, do you feel pressure carrying that responsibility, or does it give you freedom?
There is definitely some pressure, because progress and success don’t come without setbacks. There are moments where you have to support yourself and your teammates through difficult periods, even when recognition only comes during the good times. That’s part of growing the game. At the same time, I feel proud to be part of a generation that’s working toward positive change. Negative comments, especially after tough losses, are always going to exist, but it’s important to keep perspective and stay focused on the bigger picture. If we don’t stay committed and continue pushing forward, it’s hard to expect different outcomes in the future. For me, that sense of responsibility is motivating. It encourages growth rather than holding me back and brings me excitement for what’s to come.
It’s fair to say the SEA Games campaign didn’t go the way we hoped. From your perspective, what needs to improve collectively — on and off the pitch — to really push Malaysia’s women’s game forward?
Off the pitch, I believe that consistency is key. Players need to maintain their fitness, eat well, and remember the lessons from past losses. Every individual has to share the same drive to improve and to succeed in the next campaign. On the pitch, it’s important that the team fully commits to the coaches’ plans. Only by executing tactics completely can we identify what works and where improvements are needed. I also believe that having more opportunities to train together during national team camps or even for longer periods of time would help us build stronger chemistry and better understand each other as teammates rather than as opponents in different leagues. These steps, combined, are essential for pushing Malaysia’s women’s game forward.
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If football ended tomorrow, what would you hope people remember about how you played — not your position or stats, but your presence?
I hope that people would see and remember the passion I bring to the game and the pride I feel representing Malaysia. Every match, I give my all and push myself to do better than the last. I hope they would remember my mindset, my dedication, my perseverance, and the effort I put in even when things weren’t easy. Above all, I hope people remember that I always supported the team and played with heart, because football has always been bigger than just me on the pitch.
When you allow yourself to dream a little, what does success look like for you — personally and with Malaysia over the next three years?
Personally, success for me would be finding a university that helps me grow both as a footballer and academically, so I can continue developing my football career while pursuing my studies. With Malaysia, I hope to continue playing an active role in future tournaments and events and contribute to the team’s progress. Over the next three years, I would love to see us make measurable improvements, whether in tournament results, rankings, or the overall development of women’s football in the country. For me, success is about growth, impact, and leaving the team in a stronger position than when I joined